Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Saturday, February 09, 2008
The Metamorphosis of a Blog
Folks,
Not that any of you exist, but just in case you were subscribed...
I've moved and renamed my blog. As my life has changed (as all of ours continually do) I've made the switch to wordpress.
You can follow my new blog Coffee Shop Prophet over there.
Please take a minute to change your subscriptions and comment on the new blog.
I'm really going to try to blog more these days.
Thanks for your comments and support.
Signing off,
Snod Bloggins
Not that any of you exist, but just in case you were subscribed...
I've moved and renamed my blog. As my life has changed (as all of ours continually do) I've made the switch to wordpress.
You can follow my new blog Coffee Shop Prophet over there.
Please take a minute to change your subscriptions and comment on the new blog.
I'm really going to try to blog more these days.
Thanks for your comments and support.
Signing off,
Snod Bloggins
Sunday, July 15, 2007
The Killing of Me
I don't understand it.
I can't comprehend how millions of Christ-followers before me have done it.
How they have stayed motivated to fight for what matters.
I understand how most "Christians" have done it, because they avoid, or numb themselves to the pain. They seek the things of earth that will not last (when Christ comes to take the world back through his redemption of the church)
But how do the true followers do it. Christ himself, in his infinite patience, didn't have time for some things. But he always loved people, especially those who got love the least, and needed it the most.
I'm having trouble loving. but its not the traditional "least of these" that I struggle so mightily to love. Much of the struggle I have is with the own leadership at my faith community.
I've had a problem for a long time of placing leaders that I look up to on a pedastel, only to be crushed when they fall. Well I have gotten better.
I thought I had found the happy medium between the hopeful dream and realistic expectations. I guess I was wrong. People will always fail you.
This isn't about an isolated event, its been building. I just don't understand how people can treat other people, whom they act like they love, like dirt sometimes. Or how relationships can be built around convenience. It's very convenient for some people to be my friend, because I don't often say no, because I am passionate, because I want to follow Christ, and have seen glimpses of what the church can be.
Now I'm not claiming to be innocent of treating people poorly as well, but I don't use people... and I try my best to treat them with dignity always.
So why are we so broken?
We could discuss original sin in circles until we all hate ourselves (and are angry with god)
We could pretend like everything is peachy keen when its obvious that it is not.
I want to face my brokenness straight on. I want to be open and honest about it, I am not perfect (or anywhere near it). I want others to point out my brokenness, and rejoice in the redemption that is happening in my life.
But for some reason, I don't get excited too easily about others' brokenness. I get hurt.
I'm frustrated with inaction and injustice, I'm injured when I'm treated (intentionally or not) like I have less value than others, like my time isn't as important. I am let down when people who say they care don't show it.
Today a gifted speaker from stl came to speak to our congregation. He talked about exclusion.
He focused on Jesus cleansing the temple grounds. He told us about a short wall that separated the jewish section close to the main temple from the gentile section, and he talked about how the Jews mistreated the gentiles through the misuse of religious power. Then he asked us who our gentiles are. Who in our own lives are we drawing lines against. Who do we automatically drop into a lower class because of some characteristic.
A few specific people came to mind first, but then I started to realize that I easily give up on people who speak one way, act another, and don't seem to be trying to reconcile the two. I give up on people who don't visibly grow.
I'm not sure I've gotten this entirely wrong though. We must fight the pharisees, but we must do it because we love them, we mustn't separate them out in judgement, but bring them in in love.
I can't comprehend how millions of Christ-followers before me have done it.
How they have stayed motivated to fight for what matters.
I understand how most "Christians" have done it, because they avoid, or numb themselves to the pain. They seek the things of earth that will not last (when Christ comes to take the world back through his redemption of the church)
But how do the true followers do it. Christ himself, in his infinite patience, didn't have time for some things. But he always loved people, especially those who got love the least, and needed it the most.
I'm having trouble loving. but its not the traditional "least of these" that I struggle so mightily to love. Much of the struggle I have is with the own leadership at my faith community.
I've had a problem for a long time of placing leaders that I look up to on a pedastel, only to be crushed when they fall. Well I have gotten better.
I thought I had found the happy medium between the hopeful dream and realistic expectations. I guess I was wrong. People will always fail you.
This isn't about an isolated event, its been building. I just don't understand how people can treat other people, whom they act like they love, like dirt sometimes. Or how relationships can be built around convenience. It's very convenient for some people to be my friend, because I don't often say no, because I am passionate, because I want to follow Christ, and have seen glimpses of what the church can be.
Now I'm not claiming to be innocent of treating people poorly as well, but I don't use people... and I try my best to treat them with dignity always.
So why are we so broken?
We could discuss original sin in circles until we all hate ourselves (and are angry with god)
We could pretend like everything is peachy keen when its obvious that it is not.
I want to face my brokenness straight on. I want to be open and honest about it, I am not perfect (or anywhere near it). I want others to point out my brokenness, and rejoice in the redemption that is happening in my life.
But for some reason, I don't get excited too easily about others' brokenness. I get hurt.
I'm frustrated with inaction and injustice, I'm injured when I'm treated (intentionally or not) like I have less value than others, like my time isn't as important. I am let down when people who say they care don't show it.
Today a gifted speaker from stl came to speak to our congregation. He talked about exclusion.
He focused on Jesus cleansing the temple grounds. He told us about a short wall that separated the jewish section close to the main temple from the gentile section, and he talked about how the Jews mistreated the gentiles through the misuse of religious power. Then he asked us who our gentiles are. Who in our own lives are we drawing lines against. Who do we automatically drop into a lower class because of some characteristic.
A few specific people came to mind first, but then I started to realize that I easily give up on people who speak one way, act another, and don't seem to be trying to reconcile the two. I give up on people who don't visibly grow.
I'm not sure I've gotten this entirely wrong though. We must fight the pharisees, but we must do it because we love them, we mustn't separate them out in judgement, but bring them in in love.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
The Frown on God's Face
I was almost home yesterday, just having entered my beautiful and myopic suburb when I passed my favorite church.
Now my real favorite "church" is the one I am a part of, my brothers and sisters, but I love this church for its street sign. See, the sign is on one of the two main streets in a suburb of 60k, so it gets lots of exposure.
I have had so many laughs on my way home from work, I've also gotten pretty angry (at this specific church, and the church on the whole).
Well unfortunately this was an angry one.
America Bless God
We've all seen it/heard it before.
What the hell does it mean?
Because when I look at scripture and it talks about God blessing Israel, it meant bestowing certain gifts upon them. Now maybe blessing god makes sense to some of you (Just like saying, "God we pray that blah blah blah..." while you are praying), but to me I am lost. I certainly have nothing to give to god, other than that which he already owns (everything). Unfortunately I think that the word bless has come to mean, wish well.
And really, don't get me wrong, I want god to have the best week, so yeah, bless him up! but seriously, this phrase has no meaning. God has blessed us, blesses us now, and will continue to bless us, he has given us life, and everything in it.
I came across a post on Tony Jones' blog six months or so ago about meaningless statements. the discussion was about whether or not statements can be/are meaningless that reference the limits of god (I'm not explaining it well, but its not important).
It got me thinking about meaningless statements. America Bless God certainly holds some meaning these days, but that doesn't mean it isn't meaningless meaning...?
I think the author means America Praise God, which is nice, except we have no clue how to do that...
but how do we bless god?
Its just another example of christianity trying to be cute, thinking it somehow can be relevant to the society that already hates it.
Not sure what I'm trying to even say here, other than I'm frustrated.
Frustrated with every attempt to be relevant, without really being relevant. To me, relevance is an infinite term, limited only by the number of people you are trying to be relevant to, which, by definition, makes relevance a relational thing. Too bad the church can't learn to be relational. Even then, the times that it seems to get it, it is a shallow and meaningless relationship.
When will we learn to truly know people?
Now my real favorite "church" is the one I am a part of, my brothers and sisters, but I love this church for its street sign. See, the sign is on one of the two main streets in a suburb of 60k, so it gets lots of exposure.
I have had so many laughs on my way home from work, I've also gotten pretty angry (at this specific church, and the church on the whole).
Well unfortunately this was an angry one.
America Bless God
We've all seen it/heard it before.
What the hell does it mean?
Because when I look at scripture and it talks about God blessing Israel, it meant bestowing certain gifts upon them. Now maybe blessing god makes sense to some of you (Just like saying, "God we pray that blah blah blah..." while you are praying), but to me I am lost. I certainly have nothing to give to god, other than that which he already owns (everything). Unfortunately I think that the word bless has come to mean, wish well.
And really, don't get me wrong, I want god to have the best week, so yeah, bless him up! but seriously, this phrase has no meaning. God has blessed us, blesses us now, and will continue to bless us, he has given us life, and everything in it.
I came across a post on Tony Jones' blog six months or so ago about meaningless statements. the discussion was about whether or not statements can be/are meaningless that reference the limits of god (I'm not explaining it well, but its not important).
It got me thinking about meaningless statements. America Bless God certainly holds some meaning these days, but that doesn't mean it isn't meaningless meaning...?
I think the author means America Praise God, which is nice, except we have no clue how to do that...
but how do we bless god?
Its just another example of christianity trying to be cute, thinking it somehow can be relevant to the society that already hates it.
Not sure what I'm trying to even say here, other than I'm frustrated.
Frustrated with every attempt to be relevant, without really being relevant. To me, relevance is an infinite term, limited only by the number of people you are trying to be relevant to, which, by definition, makes relevance a relational thing. Too bad the church can't learn to be relational. Even then, the times that it seems to get it, it is a shallow and meaningless relationship.
When will we learn to truly know people?
Monday, June 25, 2007
The Emerging Church
Dr. Eddie Gibbs on the Emergent church (for those of you looking for a three paragraph description [not definition])
He's pretty spot on with most of it. (seems to come from an "unbiased" but pro-emergent view)
They(Emergents) believe that the church – especially the Protestant and Evangelical streams – are the product of modernity, and our assumptions need to be re-examined now that we are in a post-Christendom, pluralistic and increasingly post-secular social context. These profound cultural shifts have increasingly marginalized the church. Consequently, the church can no longer operate on a come-to-us basis. It must become a truly missional church, recapturing the simplicity, mobility and engagement with culture that characterized the disciples of Jesus and the churches of the New Testament.
For Emerging Church leaders the church is not a noun but a verb; it is not a place but a people; it is not primarily a weekly gathering but a community of the faithful.
Salvation is not a visa for heaven stamped in your passport, but a life to be lived here a now that presents a radical challenge to the materialistic values of our culture. It is as much concerned with life before death as with life after death. On account of their emphasis on relationships, community and active participation, they are not interested in megachurches. They regard the bible as central to their faith, but not as God’s answer book to all and every question. Rather it is a book that inspires them in their journey of faith, linking their personal stories to God’s unfolding drama from Genesis to Revelation. Also they insist that spirituality, that is so significant within our culture, must bea holistic spirituality that embraces every area of life. They don’t buy into the separation of spheres – public from private – that prevailed within a modernistic, secular mindset. They find most in common with the early church that operated from the margins, owned no real-estate, and engaged the pluralistic world of their day with humility, grace and sacrifical service in the face of hostility and persecution as a counter-culture movement.
But they do not adopt an isolated, judgmental stand. Rather they believe that God’s
presence is evident in the wider culture, with which they seek to identify, in order to become “good news” to the tens of millions of younger people that have either walked away from the church, or never walked through its doors. In theological terminology this is a mission characterized by incarnation, which represents authentic identification and reconciliation with a view to transformation.
The Emergent Churches represent a ground level movement rather than top-down
leadership initiatives. It is present both within traditional denominations as well as new networks. It is both de-centered and interconnected, via websites, chatrooms and blogs.
He's pretty spot on with most of it. (seems to come from an "unbiased" but pro-emergent view)
They(Emergents) believe that the church – especially the Protestant and Evangelical streams – are the product of modernity, and our assumptions need to be re-examined now that we are in a post-Christendom, pluralistic and increasingly post-secular social context. These profound cultural shifts have increasingly marginalized the church. Consequently, the church can no longer operate on a come-to-us basis. It must become a truly missional church, recapturing the simplicity, mobility and engagement with culture that characterized the disciples of Jesus and the churches of the New Testament.
For Emerging Church leaders the church is not a noun but a verb; it is not a place but a people; it is not primarily a weekly gathering but a community of the faithful.
Salvation is not a visa for heaven stamped in your passport, but a life to be lived here a now that presents a radical challenge to the materialistic values of our culture. It is as much concerned with life before death as with life after death. On account of their emphasis on relationships, community and active participation, they are not interested in megachurches. They regard the bible as central to their faith, but not as God’s answer book to all and every question. Rather it is a book that inspires them in their journey of faith, linking their personal stories to God’s unfolding drama from Genesis to Revelation. Also they insist that spirituality, that is so significant within our culture, must bea holistic spirituality that embraces every area of life. They don’t buy into the separation of spheres – public from private – that prevailed within a modernistic, secular mindset. They find most in common with the early church that operated from the margins, owned no real-estate, and engaged the pluralistic world of their day with humility, grace and sacrifical service in the face of hostility and persecution as a counter-culture movement.
But they do not adopt an isolated, judgmental stand. Rather they believe that God’s
presence is evident in the wider culture, with which they seek to identify, in order to become “good news” to the tens of millions of younger people that have either walked away from the church, or never walked through its doors. In theological terminology this is a mission characterized by incarnation, which represents authentic identification and reconciliation with a view to transformation.
The Emergent Churches represent a ground level movement rather than top-down
leadership initiatives. It is present both within traditional denominations as well as new networks. It is both de-centered and interconnected, via websites, chatrooms and blogs.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
The Practice of Resurrection
"we will continue to practice resurrection, in the face of a world that continues to create destruction"
-Shane Claiborne on the fire in kensington
More to come soon...
-Shane Claiborne on the fire in kensington
More to come soon...
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
The Lightning Storm
I was driving home after a particularly frustrating day yesterday when I was blessed with a treat.
Lightning.
My drive home from work is around 35 minutes without traffic and the sun had just gone down so the roads were clear of other commuters.
The storm had been gathering on the horizon for most of the day, it seemed.
Finally as I was driving on the highway the show began.
There was an amazing electrical show directly in front of me in the distance. This allowed me to watch and keep my eyes safely on the road (sort of).
There were two lines of clouds in the distance, both large and billowing, but I only stole glimpses as the lightning struck. It was nearly all cloud to cloud lightning, stretching out and splitting into the fingers on God's immortal hand. I can't even find the words now to describe the beauty.
As the lightning struck the top edge of the closer line of clouds was illuminated and the entire back line was lit. In fact, much of the lightning was blocked by the closer storm. It was quite frustrating to not be able to soak in the entire beauty of the storm, but for it to be just out of grasp.
As I kept driving I wondered if this is the very reason for discontent. I see such a beautiful picture of Christian love, but not fully.
I experience some of it daily, and can dream about what the rest looks like, but it never comes to fruition.
Obviously this is just the way life is, always moving forward (hopefully) but never quite reaching the goal...
But I know it is beautiful, even if I can't see it all, and we're melting away clouds as we get closer to our dreams.
Friday, June 15, 2007
The Coming Darkness
I feel it coming.
Just a simple conversation of events in the past sparked it. I feel it coming like a curtain, closing in on me from all sides.
Call it loneliness, isolation, depression, whatever it is it sucks, and I know there is a better way.
Today a gentleman wandered into our building before I arrived, it was pouring miserably outside. The kind of rain that makes you wonder how the homeless do it.
When I walked in, I was stopped by one of the staff, who let me know the guy was in the venue side of the building. They said a young lady was also in the room.
I casually wandered through, pretending to look at the new show in the gallery. The gent was asleep, the girl smiled.
She later came in to buy him a sandwich, and she ended up leaving her bible for him, while he was asleep.
I met the guy when he woke up, he didn't talk much (which is unusual).
He came in again later and asked to talk to me.
He cried, just plain old cried, in desperation.
It was the crying of a man who had tried to convince himself that he was ok, but had realized that he wasn't.
He told me his life story, how he had lost his wife and kids because of his addiction, how he was a wanted man because he owed some loan sharks some money.
I have not seen many people more broken in my life.
I had a great conversation today with a couple about the homeless we work with in out community, and about a particular member who is broken deeply. It sure started out depressing with us saying, what can we do but be lovingly honest? But it ended with some hope, the hope of God's continuing redemption. We in fact prayed for brokenness to open our eyes to our needs.
Then tonight over a beer (or three) and a burnt offering (thank you camacho) three of my closest friends and I talked, and 12 step programs were brought up. One of my friends said he wishes that he and his students (he is a minister) could really hit rock bottom so that they could embark on the journey. Then we all realized that we have all hit rock bottom, everyone has, but that some of us just don't know it yet. In fact, the problem of sin (which ain't so much of a problem any more [way to kick satan's ass, Jesus!]) has us all at rock bottom. We are in the pit of sheol.
My homeless friend was so broken that he was baring himself to me, cracks and splinters and shards and all...
He was so broken that he was ready to begin on his healing journey (I thought). But he didn't return, yet. All I can do is hope that he has found love somewhere else, that he can continue his journey of healing, and escape the bogus world system.
So how do we escape?
I guess we can wait until the a later post to solve the problems of the world.
Just a simple conversation of events in the past sparked it. I feel it coming like a curtain, closing in on me from all sides.
Call it loneliness, isolation, depression, whatever it is it sucks, and I know there is a better way.
Today a gentleman wandered into our building before I arrived, it was pouring miserably outside. The kind of rain that makes you wonder how the homeless do it.
When I walked in, I was stopped by one of the staff, who let me know the guy was in the venue side of the building. They said a young lady was also in the room.
I casually wandered through, pretending to look at the new show in the gallery. The gent was asleep, the girl smiled.
She later came in to buy him a sandwich, and she ended up leaving her bible for him, while he was asleep.
I met the guy when he woke up, he didn't talk much (which is unusual).
He came in again later and asked to talk to me.
He cried, just plain old cried, in desperation.
It was the crying of a man who had tried to convince himself that he was ok, but had realized that he wasn't.
He told me his life story, how he had lost his wife and kids because of his addiction, how he was a wanted man because he owed some loan sharks some money.
I have not seen many people more broken in my life.
I had a great conversation today with a couple about the homeless we work with in out community, and about a particular member who is broken deeply. It sure started out depressing with us saying, what can we do but be lovingly honest? But it ended with some hope, the hope of God's continuing redemption. We in fact prayed for brokenness to open our eyes to our needs.
Then tonight over a beer (or three) and a burnt offering (thank you camacho) three of my closest friends and I talked, and 12 step programs were brought up. One of my friends said he wishes that he and his students (he is a minister) could really hit rock bottom so that they could embark on the journey. Then we all realized that we have all hit rock bottom, everyone has, but that some of us just don't know it yet. In fact, the problem of sin (which ain't so much of a problem any more [way to kick satan's ass, Jesus!]) has us all at rock bottom. We are in the pit of sheol.
My homeless friend was so broken that he was baring himself to me, cracks and splinters and shards and all...
He was so broken that he was ready to begin on his healing journey (I thought). But he didn't return, yet. All I can do is hope that he has found love somewhere else, that he can continue his journey of healing, and escape the bogus world system.
So how do we escape?
I guess we can wait until the a later post to solve the problems of the world.
Friday, April 06, 2007
The Hand of God
I've been thinking a lot lately. A lot about how we live, how living works, why we live, how we interact with God...
Like prayer.
I'm totally befuddled with prayer. I see the way the church prays (in America), and I see some references to prayer in scripture, but I don't see how we got from one to the other. I also know what kind of prayer feels right, and what kind feels wrong. Of course that's just my subconscious accessing all of my memories and then releasing chemicals to cause emotion based on previous results.
I've been dismantling of late, breaking down the old thoughts, and creating new ones. Deconstruction, they call it. I call it dismantling, my coworker calls it throwing rocks at the church, and he is too often right, in my case. There isn't anything wrong with throwing rocks at the church, but there is a problem when I don't rebuild what I destroy.
Prayer is one of these issues I haven't been able to reconstruct. In the end it all comes down to the way we interact with God, and the way He interacts in the world.
Let me get to the point. I'm tired of the 'It's in God's hands's and the 'God has someone perfect out there for you's and the 'God will open a door's, because frankly, its not (literally), and he doesn't, and he might not.
God created me, but indirectly. FIrst understand that I am in no way trying to limit God's power. The existence that I know through experience was entirely created by him. I believe in evolution. I'm not sure how it all worked out, I don't have gene maps plotted. But I believe in science... as much as science can be believed in. I believe science can tell us a lot, maybe nothing definitively, but a lot at least partially.
Some people think evolution takes away power from God, takes away from what He has done. I think evolution is intensely creative. I think that its more beautiful this way. I believe in redemption. And if God created us as static beings, then redemption doesn't really have space to happen. If we aren't static beings, and we change and grow over time (which is central in the message of Christ), then the amalgamation of all of the little redemptions in our life, plus the knowledge we gain from the generations before us, is evolution.
Back to the point, I absolutely do not see christianity as the memorization of Jesus' magic incantations. I think I've written before about how I hate the acronym Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. But there is some (albeit little) truth there. First and foremost scripture is the telling of man's part in God's story. (A brief side note: narrative is pretty interesting when God is involved because he both is writing/narrating, and taking part in the narrative) But scripture also is our prime resource for information about the meshiach, Jesus.
Now I do think Jesus came with instructions. This is the important paragraph in this post, if you just mindlessly skim my posts (which is more than I would do myself) take a moment and read this paragraph slowly.
Jesus was present at the creation of the world (thanks beloved disciple!) therefore he would know how the world was made, and how it works. Jesus had insider knowledge to how life works. Then the word became flesh and joined our miserable existance. But Jesus lived life the way that the system of this world is set up for. He wasn't magical (though he did possess great powers), but was connected with God. I'm not trying to say we can live just as Christ did, that would be impossible, after all, the man was God.
The point is (if there is one) that Christianity seems to have turned into a religion that just believes. And even that belief exists in something that takes any burden of action away from us. We are conditioned to leave things to God, when we should be seeking correct action. When we don't view the world as being God's supernatural playground, it doesn't allow us to place the burden of action somewhere else, it falls squarely on us.
Then as God's hands and feet we will affect the world. We will expand the kingdom of God. The kingdom of God is not some far off distant other-worldly place (the commercialized heaven), it is wherever God reigns. A kingdom is as large as it's king's reign.
I want to be the kingdom of God. I want everthing I touch to be the kingdom of God. I want my neighborhood, the city of Houston, my faith community, my friends to all be a part of the kingdom of God.
May love, God's love, infect you entirely. May you infect your community, and then the world. Live and love in this world, knowing that it can (and will) be a better place.
Like prayer.
I'm totally befuddled with prayer. I see the way the church prays (in America), and I see some references to prayer in scripture, but I don't see how we got from one to the other. I also know what kind of prayer feels right, and what kind feels wrong. Of course that's just my subconscious accessing all of my memories and then releasing chemicals to cause emotion based on previous results.
I've been dismantling of late, breaking down the old thoughts, and creating new ones. Deconstruction, they call it. I call it dismantling, my coworker calls it throwing rocks at the church, and he is too often right, in my case. There isn't anything wrong with throwing rocks at the church, but there is a problem when I don't rebuild what I destroy.
Prayer is one of these issues I haven't been able to reconstruct. In the end it all comes down to the way we interact with God, and the way He interacts in the world.
Let me get to the point. I'm tired of the 'It's in God's hands's and the 'God has someone perfect out there for you's and the 'God will open a door's, because frankly, its not (literally), and he doesn't, and he might not.
God created me, but indirectly. FIrst understand that I am in no way trying to limit God's power. The existence that I know through experience was entirely created by him. I believe in evolution. I'm not sure how it all worked out, I don't have gene maps plotted. But I believe in science... as much as science can be believed in. I believe science can tell us a lot, maybe nothing definitively, but a lot at least partially.
Some people think evolution takes away power from God, takes away from what He has done. I think evolution is intensely creative. I think that its more beautiful this way. I believe in redemption. And if God created us as static beings, then redemption doesn't really have space to happen. If we aren't static beings, and we change and grow over time (which is central in the message of Christ), then the amalgamation of all of the little redemptions in our life, plus the knowledge we gain from the generations before us, is evolution.
Back to the point, I absolutely do not see christianity as the memorization of Jesus' magic incantations. I think I've written before about how I hate the acronym Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. But there is some (albeit little) truth there. First and foremost scripture is the telling of man's part in God's story. (A brief side note: narrative is pretty interesting when God is involved because he both is writing/narrating, and taking part in the narrative) But scripture also is our prime resource for information about the meshiach, Jesus.
Now I do think Jesus came with instructions. This is the important paragraph in this post, if you just mindlessly skim my posts (which is more than I would do myself) take a moment and read this paragraph slowly.
Jesus was present at the creation of the world (thanks beloved disciple!) therefore he would know how the world was made, and how it works. Jesus had insider knowledge to how life works. Then the word became flesh and joined our miserable existance. But Jesus lived life the way that the system of this world is set up for. He wasn't magical (though he did possess great powers), but was connected with God. I'm not trying to say we can live just as Christ did, that would be impossible, after all, the man was God.
The point is (if there is one) that Christianity seems to have turned into a religion that just believes. And even that belief exists in something that takes any burden of action away from us. We are conditioned to leave things to God, when we should be seeking correct action. When we don't view the world as being God's supernatural playground, it doesn't allow us to place the burden of action somewhere else, it falls squarely on us.
Then as God's hands and feet we will affect the world. We will expand the kingdom of God. The kingdom of God is not some far off distant other-worldly place (the commercialized heaven), it is wherever God reigns. A kingdom is as large as it's king's reign.
I want to be the kingdom of God. I want everthing I touch to be the kingdom of God. I want my neighborhood, the city of Houston, my faith community, my friends to all be a part of the kingdom of God.
May love, God's love, infect you entirely. May you infect your community, and then the world. Live and love in this world, knowing that it can (and will) be a better place.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
The Washing of Feet
Maundy thursday. An excellent part of holy week liturgy. The day we celebrate the last feast that the Liberating King shared with his disciples. In my faith community we have a service to celebrate this day, today.
The service revolves around two things, communion, in which we remember the last supper and looming crucifixion, and the washing of feet, when we remember how our Lord's authority system is the opposite of the worlds.
See my faith community is going through transformation right now, which I am grateful for. Transformation is a part of being redeemed. We are learning to buck the system. See, Christ preached a way of life that was very counter-cultural. It flipped the economic system on its head. It flipped the social norms. It flipped the definition of authority on its head.
Christ came himself as a servant, even stooping to wash the feet of his very disciples. The men who traditionally were underneath him. The men whom Jesus would have taught. The men who would have lovingly followed Christ around like dogs. The Liberating King flipped the reigning definition of authority over by doing something as dirty as washing the feet of his students. Feet which would have been caked with mud and smelled of wet leather.
Christ assumed the role of slave. He taught the disciples saying
"Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.
I guess the question here is, "Is Christ just flip flopping the role of authority?"
Our elders in my faith community wash the feet of the members present at the Maundy Thursday service.
I clipped my toe nails, washed my feet up nice, wore the socks without the holes.
But I didn't have my feet washed. Was Christ setting up a system of authority where those in authority serve others? It sure seems so, and maybe he does. If that is what he meant, then I didn't have my feet washed because I'm not sure if our elders know what that means.
See, it seems that the elders in my community view themselves as the decision makers. They are freed from responsibility of action because they are wise.
This is a problem for me, see... I don't separate action and wisdom, they go hand-in-hand for me. And how can you make decisions for a group of people that you are not involved in action with.
I don't want someone to wash my feet and not understand that from that point on I will be holding them accountable to serve me. I don't want them to be puffed up with false humility, washing the purposefully perfumed feet of those they do not know. I don't want my elders to wash my feet, and not follow through by serving me forever.
Christ isn't creating a new kind of authority, he is abolishing the system of authority. He doesn't say go and wash the feet of those below you. He says wash each other's feet. He says, stop the arrogance of hierarchy. He says know each other, care for each other, serve each other, love each other, be the body.
What we have is the abolition of hierarchical systems, and the creation of true community.
Community where we complete each other's weaknesses with each other's strengths. Where we each take the lead sometimes. Where none is above the other. Where we are all wise, and all active. Where we as a body we approach true Shalom.
May you love truly, living not above others, but with them.
Note: Since writing this post I realized that my lack of understanding of the elders in my community was because of a lack of effort on my part to know them as people. I want to leave this post as it is because that is honestly where I was at this point. I may still find most of this post to be true, but it will not be unfounded.
The service revolves around two things, communion, in which we remember the last supper and looming crucifixion, and the washing of feet, when we remember how our Lord's authority system is the opposite of the worlds.
See my faith community is going through transformation right now, which I am grateful for. Transformation is a part of being redeemed. We are learning to buck the system. See, Christ preached a way of life that was very counter-cultural. It flipped the economic system on its head. It flipped the social norms. It flipped the definition of authority on its head.
Christ came himself as a servant, even stooping to wash the feet of his very disciples. The men who traditionally were underneath him. The men whom Jesus would have taught. The men who would have lovingly followed Christ around like dogs. The Liberating King flipped the reigning definition of authority over by doing something as dirty as washing the feet of his students. Feet which would have been caked with mud and smelled of wet leather.
Christ assumed the role of slave. He taught the disciples saying
"Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.
I guess the question here is, "Is Christ just flip flopping the role of authority?"
Our elders in my faith community wash the feet of the members present at the Maundy Thursday service.
I clipped my toe nails, washed my feet up nice, wore the socks without the holes.
But I didn't have my feet washed. Was Christ setting up a system of authority where those in authority serve others? It sure seems so, and maybe he does. If that is what he meant, then I didn't have my feet washed because I'm not sure if our elders know what that means.
See, it seems that the elders in my community view themselves as the decision makers. They are freed from responsibility of action because they are wise.
This is a problem for me, see... I don't separate action and wisdom, they go hand-in-hand for me. And how can you make decisions for a group of people that you are not involved in action with.
I don't want someone to wash my feet and not understand that from that point on I will be holding them accountable to serve me. I don't want them to be puffed up with false humility, washing the purposefully perfumed feet of those they do not know. I don't want my elders to wash my feet, and not follow through by serving me forever.
Christ isn't creating a new kind of authority, he is abolishing the system of authority. He doesn't say go and wash the feet of those below you. He says wash each other's feet. He says, stop the arrogance of hierarchy. He says know each other, care for each other, serve each other, love each other, be the body.
What we have is the abolition of hierarchical systems, and the creation of true community.
Community where we complete each other's weaknesses with each other's strengths. Where we each take the lead sometimes. Where none is above the other. Where we are all wise, and all active. Where we as a body we approach true Shalom.
May you love truly, living not above others, but with them.
Note: Since writing this post I realized that my lack of understanding of the elders in my community was because of a lack of effort on my part to know them as people. I want to leave this post as it is because that is honestly where I was at this point. I may still find most of this post to be true, but it will not be unfounded.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
The death (and hopefully rebirth) of a blog
Well, its been nine weeks since my last entry. Much has happened, much is the same.
The most entertaining thing so far about this experiment has been reading old posts, and being sick with myself for the emotions I expressed and my writing style, just as I will look back on this post in three months and say, you can't talk about your own posts in your own blog!!!!
I think the blog might be headed for a shift. I started about two months after I quit my job as Middle School Youth Director for a moderately large suburban church in Houston. The blog started as a discussion starter for a group of friends I had been conversing with over the internet (real friends, just in different places now). The blog was a terrible failure at its first purpose, so I switched gears, and in my usual self-absorbed fashion made it into something all about me.
The chronicles of a guy, who at first struggled with all of his might to avoid postmodernism, love, and truth. He of course failed. Well, somewhat... you get the point (is there a point?).
So, now to the present. I have accepted a job working vocationally for my faith community. It was really a struggle for me to decide when I was offered. It was very much a dream job for me, which made me think twice about it. Was I ready to serve vocationally again? Was my hiring reinforcing poor church staff decisions? and awful church staff models?
See, I have a problem with the model of, "this person volunteers a lot around here, so lets hire them." I was worried that I myself was falling into this group. I have had some amazing friends, far more learned in living life as Christ would have us who did not vocationally work for churches. That was counterintuitive at the time. If you were good at God, then you should work for a church...
After careful deliberation I accepted the job. I start in two weeks. I am very excited, and very scared...
Because I know myself. I know its hard for me to say no. I know I get too busy. I know sometimes I deny myself a little too much. I don't know if its even because I love people that much, I think a lot of it is that I think that is an irreversible part of my personality.
See, I've been doing a lot of thinking about personality redemption. About the way God moves in the world in general. Can personalities be redeemed, or do we just try to deal the best with what we are dealt?
Can mental disease be cured through relationships? medicine? I know there is therapy that works, but where is the line? When is a condition too severe for redemption? I have two friends (well actually a heckuva lot more, come on, thousands read my blog). One is a diagnosed bi-polar (not sure what type, though I would think type II) with a Scott-diagnosed case of histrionic personality disorder, the other is a homeless, crack addicted late thirties man, who is also caught up in the sex trade.
How much can either of these men's personalities be redeemed. We can talk about dopamine receptors, we can talk about homosexuality... but what can we hope for? what can we strive for? Do we just "wait for God to change them"? I don't know how much I believe in that. People are changed by concrete experiences (or misperceptions of them). If I repeatedly tell someone that they are worthless, and act like it as well, it will affect them.
So what is the hope for my friends? I am not content with waiting for change, I am content with patiently being change. Love is healing. I can see it. Love is redeeming both of these men. The only problem is, I only have so much love before I am exhausted. I cannot do it on my own. And others don't seem to love these men. (which is probably why I do). I'm not saying its easy, loving these guys can be downright depressing... I am saying its necessary, and not just for me to do it, but for me to raise up others to do it as well.
So now that I have learned, how do I teach others? Is it even my place to assume I'm supposed to? I have long known that experience and relationships lead to knowledge much more true than knowledge learned through study (not that study is bad). So I guess I start with teaching my friends, and then they teach theirs.
Before you know it, the alternative lifestyle of love will be redeeming the whole world!
For now, I'm just hoping I can get my act together, and learn to rest. If I am truly learning how to best live, then my personality is changing, hopefully constantly. If it isn't, if I am the same person two years from now, or even two months from now, then I am not living as a disciple. The beauty of community is that we grow together, our personalities are changing together.
A few notes of business, the reborn blog will hopefully follow my journey back into vocational ministry (with a twist). Next week I'll explain more about the job. Finally, I think I'm going to start ending every post with a benediction, if it isn't attributed, then its my own creation.
This weeks is from a church in Clear Lake
“May this great God who called you…
Keep you broken enough to mend others. Keep you hungry enough to feed others. Keep you wandering enough to find the lost. Keep you secure enough to present the truth. Keep you out enough to see the broken. Keep you real enough to be touched by the hurting. Keep you sensitive enough to feel the others pain. Keep you weak enough to reach out to the strong. Keep you strong enough to reach the weak."
The most entertaining thing so far about this experiment has been reading old posts, and being sick with myself for the emotions I expressed and my writing style, just as I will look back on this post in three months and say, you can't talk about your own posts in your own blog!!!!
I think the blog might be headed for a shift. I started about two months after I quit my job as Middle School Youth Director for a moderately large suburban church in Houston. The blog started as a discussion starter for a group of friends I had been conversing with over the internet (real friends, just in different places now). The blog was a terrible failure at its first purpose, so I switched gears, and in my usual self-absorbed fashion made it into something all about me.
The chronicles of a guy, who at first struggled with all of his might to avoid postmodernism, love, and truth. He of course failed. Well, somewhat... you get the point (is there a point?).
So, now to the present. I have accepted a job working vocationally for my faith community. It was really a struggle for me to decide when I was offered. It was very much a dream job for me, which made me think twice about it. Was I ready to serve vocationally again? Was my hiring reinforcing poor church staff decisions? and awful church staff models?
See, I have a problem with the model of, "this person volunteers a lot around here, so lets hire them." I was worried that I myself was falling into this group. I have had some amazing friends, far more learned in living life as Christ would have us who did not vocationally work for churches. That was counterintuitive at the time. If you were good at God, then you should work for a church...
After careful deliberation I accepted the job. I start in two weeks. I am very excited, and very scared...
Because I know myself. I know its hard for me to say no. I know I get too busy. I know sometimes I deny myself a little too much. I don't know if its even because I love people that much, I think a lot of it is that I think that is an irreversible part of my personality.
See, I've been doing a lot of thinking about personality redemption. About the way God moves in the world in general. Can personalities be redeemed, or do we just try to deal the best with what we are dealt?
Can mental disease be cured through relationships? medicine? I know there is therapy that works, but where is the line? When is a condition too severe for redemption? I have two friends (well actually a heckuva lot more, come on, thousands read my blog). One is a diagnosed bi-polar (not sure what type, though I would think type II) with a Scott-diagnosed case of histrionic personality disorder, the other is a homeless, crack addicted late thirties man, who is also caught up in the sex trade.
How much can either of these men's personalities be redeemed. We can talk about dopamine receptors, we can talk about homosexuality... but what can we hope for? what can we strive for? Do we just "wait for God to change them"? I don't know how much I believe in that. People are changed by concrete experiences (or misperceptions of them). If I repeatedly tell someone that they are worthless, and act like it as well, it will affect them.
So what is the hope for my friends? I am not content with waiting for change, I am content with patiently being change. Love is healing. I can see it. Love is redeeming both of these men. The only problem is, I only have so much love before I am exhausted. I cannot do it on my own. And others don't seem to love these men. (which is probably why I do). I'm not saying its easy, loving these guys can be downright depressing... I am saying its necessary, and not just for me to do it, but for me to raise up others to do it as well.
So now that I have learned, how do I teach others? Is it even my place to assume I'm supposed to? I have long known that experience and relationships lead to knowledge much more true than knowledge learned through study (not that study is bad). So I guess I start with teaching my friends, and then they teach theirs.
Before you know it, the alternative lifestyle of love will be redeeming the whole world!
For now, I'm just hoping I can get my act together, and learn to rest. If I am truly learning how to best live, then my personality is changing, hopefully constantly. If it isn't, if I am the same person two years from now, or even two months from now, then I am not living as a disciple. The beauty of community is that we grow together, our personalities are changing together.
A few notes of business, the reborn blog will hopefully follow my journey back into vocational ministry (with a twist). Next week I'll explain more about the job. Finally, I think I'm going to start ending every post with a benediction, if it isn't attributed, then its my own creation.
This weeks is from a church in Clear Lake
“May this great God who called you…
Keep you broken enough to mend others. Keep you hungry enough to feed others. Keep you wandering enough to find the lost. Keep you secure enough to present the truth. Keep you out enough to see the broken. Keep you real enough to be touched by the hurting. Keep you sensitive enough to feel the others pain. Keep you weak enough to reach out to the strong. Keep you strong enough to reach the weak."
Sunday, January 21, 2007
The Dangerous Duvet
Why are we so obsessed with our own comfort?
I guess in order to be comfortable you have to have some money. Or at least some power. Maybe comfort is just another status symbol?
Or maybe discomfort just sucks. I like my bed. Its not some uber space shuttle bed, but its a heck of a lot more comfy than the floor. But it would be nice to have a sweet down comforter.
I hate being hot. My electric bills are ridiculous because my local climate doesn't allow for much in the way of cold.
I don't like awkward situations, unless I create them on purpose. I usually don't like meeting new people. Its not that I won't like the people, its just that getting to know someone takes effort, and I'm not willing to give up time to do it.
I like lots of square feet in my house. Not because its a status symbol (directly at least) but because it gives me plenty of room to move around.
I hate airplane seats.
I hate gymnasium and stadium bleachers.
I am certainly not calling for any form of extreme asceticism. But I am calling for sacrifice when it benefits others. I am calling for the abandonment of comfort, when our search for comfort oppresses others.
When my love of taco bell oppresses migrant produce workers, its time to abandon my love of double decker taco supremes (why God why?!?).
Again, there is no line. When we start drawing lines is when we get ourselves in trouble. This all must be born out of community. And that isn't easy in a world where technology has created a very weak "global community' that has replaced any sense of true community that still existed.
I sat for hours with a couple that is in my community group. We talked about community, and specifically the churches role in community. I live about half an hour away from them, however, the husband knew that he could call me at 4 o'clock and ask for a ride home from the airport (which I currently live near) and that I would be more than willing to do it. I also knew that when we got home (after stopping at the local pub and grille) that I would be invited in for some more food and good conversation. This couple has opened up their home for our community group every monday night. Not just even that, but they also cook a meal for us (us being up to 25 people sometimes).
They have only been married for maybe 6 months now. That is community, when newlyweds are still willing to spend time with others. Its community when the walls break down, when what we want becomes less important. Its community when love supercedes comfort and convenience.
So how does community happen?
If its intentional, is it really community? Does community just happen on its own?
I think maybe its a little of both. It sure is easy to love people who love us. What about those that don't?
It has something to do with identification, with empathy. I guess we really don't know other people. And now I'm getting all philosophical but really, we don't.
All we can know is our own experiences. So we don't understand other people when we can't link their behavior with some feeling we've had in the past. I can't understand a persons life when the are on crack. I can empathize some because I've had my addictions that I could not/did not control. But I haven't ever lived on the street. I haven't ever really been hungry. My friend explained hunger well yesterday. He said we don't really know hunger, because any hunger we feel, we know we can end with our abundance of food. Real hunger is when our stomach aches, and we know there is no hope of food.
I have never felt that, real hunger.
So how do we identify and empathize with those who aren't like us at all? I guess for me, a huge part of community is sharing life. We share victories and struggles. We share joy and mourning. We share emotions and exeriences. Then we can empathize. So when I say I can't empathize with a homeless guy, I'm saying I haven't spent time with him, I haven't cared about him. I'm saying I am not willing to leave my comfort to love him.
How terrible is that? Yet I say it daily.
I finally understand the scriptures about struggling and giving up your life and about love.
How can I have lived so long, and so poorly with such a backwards view of this?
I guess in order to be comfortable you have to have some money. Or at least some power. Maybe comfort is just another status symbol?
Or maybe discomfort just sucks. I like my bed. Its not some uber space shuttle bed, but its a heck of a lot more comfy than the floor. But it would be nice to have a sweet down comforter.
I hate being hot. My electric bills are ridiculous because my local climate doesn't allow for much in the way of cold.
I don't like awkward situations, unless I create them on purpose. I usually don't like meeting new people. Its not that I won't like the people, its just that getting to know someone takes effort, and I'm not willing to give up time to do it.
I like lots of square feet in my house. Not because its a status symbol (directly at least) but because it gives me plenty of room to move around.
I hate airplane seats.
I hate gymnasium and stadium bleachers.
I am certainly not calling for any form of extreme asceticism. But I am calling for sacrifice when it benefits others. I am calling for the abandonment of comfort, when our search for comfort oppresses others.
When my love of taco bell oppresses migrant produce workers, its time to abandon my love of double decker taco supremes (why God why?!?).
Again, there is no line. When we start drawing lines is when we get ourselves in trouble. This all must be born out of community. And that isn't easy in a world where technology has created a very weak "global community' that has replaced any sense of true community that still existed.
I sat for hours with a couple that is in my community group. We talked about community, and specifically the churches role in community. I live about half an hour away from them, however, the husband knew that he could call me at 4 o'clock and ask for a ride home from the airport (which I currently live near) and that I would be more than willing to do it. I also knew that when we got home (after stopping at the local pub and grille) that I would be invited in for some more food and good conversation. This couple has opened up their home for our community group every monday night. Not just even that, but they also cook a meal for us (us being up to 25 people sometimes).
They have only been married for maybe 6 months now. That is community, when newlyweds are still willing to spend time with others. Its community when the walls break down, when what we want becomes less important. Its community when love supercedes comfort and convenience.
So how does community happen?
If its intentional, is it really community? Does community just happen on its own?
I think maybe its a little of both. It sure is easy to love people who love us. What about those that don't?
It has something to do with identification, with empathy. I guess we really don't know other people. And now I'm getting all philosophical but really, we don't.
All we can know is our own experiences. So we don't understand other people when we can't link their behavior with some feeling we've had in the past. I can't understand a persons life when the are on crack. I can empathize some because I've had my addictions that I could not/did not control. But I haven't ever lived on the street. I haven't ever really been hungry. My friend explained hunger well yesterday. He said we don't really know hunger, because any hunger we feel, we know we can end with our abundance of food. Real hunger is when our stomach aches, and we know there is no hope of food.
I have never felt that, real hunger.
So how do we identify and empathize with those who aren't like us at all? I guess for me, a huge part of community is sharing life. We share victories and struggles. We share joy and mourning. We share emotions and exeriences. Then we can empathize. So when I say I can't empathize with a homeless guy, I'm saying I haven't spent time with him, I haven't cared about him. I'm saying I am not willing to leave my comfort to love him.
How terrible is that? Yet I say it daily.
I finally understand the scriptures about struggling and giving up your life and about love.
How can I have lived so long, and so poorly with such a backwards view of this?
Saturday, January 20, 2007
The Gentleman
My faith community is struggling right now. If your faith community isn't, I suggest you look into it. Struggle is an important part of faith. Without struggle we do not grow.
My community is struggling over love. And we are a community based around love, so I guess that is to be expected.
We are good at loving some people. Of course its easy to love the suburbanite/post-suburbanite-urbanite, and our church does a pretty good job of loving them. But our facilities are purposefully (i thought) located in an area of town that has a good number of homeless people and people who live alternative lifestyles. Part of the thought process was that churches typically dont reach out to these people.
So our struggle is the struggle of loving the less lovely. We are early in this discussion but we have already shared some great words.
One of the early great questions in our discussion has been very challenging. The community recently asked a homeless gentleman who is involved in the worlds oldest profession not to come back to the facilities. He was gentle whenever I was around him, but he had a history of theft and drug use at our facilities. He even used aggressive language with one of the staffers once.
This gentleman was removed from our community. How would the community respond if I started using? If I took the tip jar on my way out of the coffee shop? If I used aggressive, demeaning language with one of the baristas? I sincerely doubt I would be asked not to return to the building.
How can we break down the walls the we have built, only “providing Christ” to those who are appealing. Our community has reached out to the alternative lifestylers in our community through the coffee shop, art, and being available for rental.
But then there are the “dregs.”
How can we love the less lovely? How can we love this gentleman?
My faith community would still love me if I became the gentleman. They would spend the time, they would make the extra effort to help me redeem the areas of my life that needed redemption.
So why do we act differently towards the gentleman?
Because my faith community is just what it says it is, a community. A wise deacon, and good friend of mine, said this,
“the first step is humanization, the second step is equalization. What I mean by that is we take a gentleman like (the gentleman) and we treat him as if he just drove down from (the local affluent suburb) in his SUV.”
We have built walls that we must tear down. When Christ talked about turning the other cheek and giving up the clothes on your back and carrying the roman soldiers pack he wasn’t saying let people walk all over you. He was describing a beautiful and strong revolution. We are not succumbing to other’s wills, we are aligning our will with God’s. And God’s will is for us to love, and love means sacrifice. It means sacrificing safety and comfort. I don’t want someone at the facility to get hurt, but I honestly think I’m willing to sacrifice that safety in order to bring the gentleman into our community.
When does the line of safety become the line of comfort?
When do we build our walls close enough that we may be injured? When do we stop building walls all together?
Community, true community, involves an abandonment of our love of comfort and a genuine risk of our safety.
My community is struggling over love. And we are a community based around love, so I guess that is to be expected.
We are good at loving some people. Of course its easy to love the suburbanite/post-suburbanite-urbanite, and our church does a pretty good job of loving them. But our facilities are purposefully (i thought) located in an area of town that has a good number of homeless people and people who live alternative lifestyles. Part of the thought process was that churches typically dont reach out to these people.
So our struggle is the struggle of loving the less lovely. We are early in this discussion but we have already shared some great words.
One of the early great questions in our discussion has been very challenging. The community recently asked a homeless gentleman who is involved in the worlds oldest profession not to come back to the facilities. He was gentle whenever I was around him, but he had a history of theft and drug use at our facilities. He even used aggressive language with one of the staffers once.
This gentleman was removed from our community. How would the community respond if I started using? If I took the tip jar on my way out of the coffee shop? If I used aggressive, demeaning language with one of the baristas? I sincerely doubt I would be asked not to return to the building.
How can we break down the walls the we have built, only “providing Christ” to those who are appealing. Our community has reached out to the alternative lifestylers in our community through the coffee shop, art, and being available for rental.
But then there are the “dregs.”
How can we love the less lovely? How can we love this gentleman?
My faith community would still love me if I became the gentleman. They would spend the time, they would make the extra effort to help me redeem the areas of my life that needed redemption.
So why do we act differently towards the gentleman?
Because my faith community is just what it says it is, a community. A wise deacon, and good friend of mine, said this,
“the first step is humanization, the second step is equalization. What I mean by that is we take a gentleman like (the gentleman) and we treat him as if he just drove down from (the local affluent suburb) in his SUV.”
We have built walls that we must tear down. When Christ talked about turning the other cheek and giving up the clothes on your back and carrying the roman soldiers pack he wasn’t saying let people walk all over you. He was describing a beautiful and strong revolution. We are not succumbing to other’s wills, we are aligning our will with God’s. And God’s will is for us to love, and love means sacrifice. It means sacrificing safety and comfort. I don’t want someone at the facility to get hurt, but I honestly think I’m willing to sacrifice that safety in order to bring the gentleman into our community.
When does the line of safety become the line of comfort?
When do we build our walls close enough that we may be injured? When do we stop building walls all together?
Community, true community, involves an abandonment of our love of comfort and a genuine risk of our safety.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
The Classical Guitarist
His hands moved beautifully: his left dancing like a tarantula on the fretboard, his right picking and strumming intricate patterns without looking like he was working at all.
It was beautiful... the whole situation.
I must have sat there for a good hour while he played. He held his head awkwardly turned to his left, it seemed he was avoiding eye contact with his fans. He was playing on the small stage in the lobby bar. There was usually some sort of jazz/classical musician playing in the evenings and I had the pleasure of seeing him again later in the week.
I couldn't really decide what was so beautiful about it at first. I had imbibed 2 or 3 white russians by the time he closed up shop when it hit me. The music, of course, was enjoyable, but the real beauty lied in the ability of a man to create. The classical guitarist (along with the bartender) created an experience for me that didn't just make me smile, but impacted my soul. I felt like the world was ok for a while, that things were good, right in the midst (and being myself a part of) ridiculous affluence and consumerism.
It was costing my parents multiple thousands of dollars for me to be there. What was I thinking by condoning this? While I spoke openly against it I was willing to taste its sweet fruits. I had to be there for my cousin's wedding right? I mean, it would be rude not to go... right?
At the same time I was happy, content, I had hope, I believed in beauty. Something about his creativity and skill helped me realize that I didn't always have to focus on the darkness. In fact my focus shouldn't be at all on the darkness, or even ridding the world of darkness. My focus should be on creating light. The light itself will eradicate the darkness.
So much of my life for the past year (really all of my life) has been focused on darkness. I think the guitarist's "tarantula hand," yes, something that ridiculous, has brought real and lasting change to my life.
When we create beauty we are beautiful ourselves. Its crazy to think that in the midst of the beauty of the rainforest, and the beauty of hispanic culture I found myself most captivated by something as simple as a hand on a fretboard.
On that day that guitarist was beautiful. It wasn't his strong spanish-looking face, or his awesome facial hair, it was his hand dancing between strings. It was the sounds that he so fluidly coaxed from his collection of wire and wood. It was the fact that he was created in the image of the beautiful creator, and therefore created beauty himself.
The world needs a few more dancing tarantulas, or at least it needs some of us beautiful creators to wake up from our unimaginative sleep and start creating beauty, and use our creativity to redeem the world.
It was beautiful... the whole situation.
I must have sat there for a good hour while he played. He held his head awkwardly turned to his left, it seemed he was avoiding eye contact with his fans. He was playing on the small stage in the lobby bar. There was usually some sort of jazz/classical musician playing in the evenings and I had the pleasure of seeing him again later in the week.
I couldn't really decide what was so beautiful about it at first. I had imbibed 2 or 3 white russians by the time he closed up shop when it hit me. The music, of course, was enjoyable, but the real beauty lied in the ability of a man to create. The classical guitarist (along with the bartender) created an experience for me that didn't just make me smile, but impacted my soul. I felt like the world was ok for a while, that things were good, right in the midst (and being myself a part of) ridiculous affluence and consumerism.
It was costing my parents multiple thousands of dollars for me to be there. What was I thinking by condoning this? While I spoke openly against it I was willing to taste its sweet fruits. I had to be there for my cousin's wedding right? I mean, it would be rude not to go... right?
At the same time I was happy, content, I had hope, I believed in beauty. Something about his creativity and skill helped me realize that I didn't always have to focus on the darkness. In fact my focus shouldn't be at all on the darkness, or even ridding the world of darkness. My focus should be on creating light. The light itself will eradicate the darkness.
So much of my life for the past year (really all of my life) has been focused on darkness. I think the guitarist's "tarantula hand," yes, something that ridiculous, has brought real and lasting change to my life.
When we create beauty we are beautiful ourselves. Its crazy to think that in the midst of the beauty of the rainforest, and the beauty of hispanic culture I found myself most captivated by something as simple as a hand on a fretboard.
On that day that guitarist was beautiful. It wasn't his strong spanish-looking face, or his awesome facial hair, it was his hand dancing between strings. It was the sounds that he so fluidly coaxed from his collection of wire and wood. It was the fact that he was created in the image of the beautiful creator, and therefore created beauty himself.
The world needs a few more dancing tarantulas, or at least it needs some of us beautiful creators to wake up from our unimaginative sleep and start creating beauty, and use our creativity to redeem the world.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Riviera Maya
I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Playacar, Mexico. My cousin's wedding was beautiful, on the beach, just a touch windy, not too warm, but not cool at all. Made for some great pictures. Unfotunately I forgot my camera, so I didn't take many (just when I could steal my parents camera).
The highlights of the trip (in no particular order) were: spending time with my aging grandparents, seeing my immediate family, chilling with my two male cousin's who were there,
swimming in the ocean, playing basketball in 5 feet of water, interacting with the people who worked at the resort, enjoying the beauty of the jungle, almost getting peed on by a monkey from a tree over my head (I swear it was on purpose!), smoking fine cigars and drinking about ten thousand mojitos (seriously I probably had 20 mojitos in 6 days).There were two highlights that stood out above the rest.
The first was the trip I convinced my immediate family to go on. We went with a tour guide and some other tourists to the ancient Mayan city of Coba. It was amazing walking through the jungle (having to carefully avoid a certain type of poisonous tree) where the Maya had walked two thousand plus years ago. We saw the ball courts
where the winning team had the honor of being killed and then eaten by the spectators (only after the "big" games). It was thought that you got to go to heaven if you won the game and were sacrificed. The captain of the team even became a god! Not a bad deal.We also climbed the second highest Mayan pyramid which is in Coba.
It rises over 120 feet, well over the level of the jungle, allowing a grand view of the crater lakes and the salt pyramid about a quarter mile away. There was something majestic about being on top of the pyramid. Our guide was half Mayan and taught us a lot about Mayan culture. He explained how the ruling class of the Mayan world (the priests) used their knowledge to convice the common people that they were connected to the Gods and had special powers. They made it appear as if they sun set and rose from the pyramid as the high priest stood on top. They also knew how to use acoustics and from the top of the pyramid voices could be heard for 5 kilometers before the site became overgrown.As he told us about the deception of the priests and we discussed the barbarism of the culture I couldn't help but draw parallels to the church. First off the connection of cannibalism with the Eucharist is strong. Early Christians were often arrested under charge of cannibalism because of the Eucharist language. Martyrdom was also a huge problem for the early church (though it might not have realized it). Martyrdom was so worshiped that it was almost intentional sometimes, people wanted to be sacrificed for God to prove they loved him and to ensure a good spot in heaven.
I also really feel like our church leadership often holds their position over the heads of their flocks, or at least pretends to be the purveyor of truth and God's word in his region. As a youth minister I was guilty of this, if you needed a question answered, and wanted to know "God's will" then you came to me to ask for it, and I pointed you in the right direction.
We criticize the "barbaric" Mayan culture while we have just taken their physical violence and turned it into other forms of oppression. The church still refuses to touch certain topics, and certain people groups that are somehow a part of the hot issues. Mayan civilizatoin disappeared rapidly, in the cities at least, am I being overly cynical to wonder if the church is on the same road to irrelevance? Or are we already there?
Monday, January 01, 2007
God Goes Bankrupt
Extra, Extra, read all about it!
In shocking news this week God has gone bankrupt after spending all of his resources on a failed media campaign.
In the past 5 years God has been spending billions on a billboard and Christian Radio Station advertising campaign.
If you haven't seen the black billboards with white, witty, sayings attributed to God on them, then you are missing out.
Something about me wants to love this campaign. The Americanized Church is finally responding to the criticisms that it is no fun. Many of the sayings are clever, the campaign reaches people in their cars, which are our last bastions of thought (other than the commode). Most of the sayings refer to a loving God who just wants to be connected with his creation.
What a beautiful vision!
Unfortunately some of them revert to the hellfire and brimstone Christianity that ran so many people away from the church (myself included).
You can see the billboards from the God Speaks campaign here. http://www.godspeaks.com/AboutTheBillboards.asp
In the end though, as much as I would like to like witty billboards, they are just the new millenium's bumper sticker. The churches refusal to get down and dirty and live life with people. Their stretch to "save" as many people as they can before the rapture! The encouragement of "nominal Christianity."
This "let's get you saved and then worry about the rest" mentality has not worked. Because the church never does worry about the rest, or when they do, it all boils down to a simple moral code they have placed upon their members.
When Jesus came, he so passionately dialogued with the Pharisees for this very reason. The Pharisees loved God dearly, they really did, and they thought they were pleasing him by trying to cleanse Israel. And honestly, what did the prophets call for over and over again before the Pharisees came along? The Cleansing of Israel.
So these Pharisees said, "well God's laws need to be followed, and its so important that we are going to extend them even further, so that we never even come close to breaking them." They imposed a moral code on the people that was not of God. Jesus came along, so conveniently at this point in God's love story with his creation and told the Pharisees they had it all wrong. And the Good news he came to share was LOVE. Over and over his messages overflow with love. Where the Pharisees had imposed rules, Jesus said that Love would suffice.
Yes, don't kill your brother, but even more than that, don't even hate him.
That is wh I love the billboards that preach a God in love with his creation. If only the church was willing to be God in that way to the world, and love them personally, in community, rather than just "reach out" to them.
I am involved in a wonderful faith community that even struggles with this very thing.
How do we not "reach out" but rather "bring in."
In shocking news this week God has gone bankrupt after spending all of his resources on a failed media campaign.
In the past 5 years God has been spending billions on a billboard and Christian Radio Station advertising campaign.
If you haven't seen the black billboards with white, witty, sayings attributed to God on them, then you are missing out.
Something about me wants to love this campaign. The Americanized Church is finally responding to the criticisms that it is no fun. Many of the sayings are clever, the campaign reaches people in their cars, which are our last bastions of thought (other than the commode). Most of the sayings refer to a loving God who just wants to be connected with his creation.
What a beautiful vision!
Unfortunately some of them revert to the hellfire and brimstone Christianity that ran so many people away from the church (myself included).
You can see the billboards from the God Speaks campaign here. http://www.godspeaks.com/AboutTheBillboards.asp
In the end though, as much as I would like to like witty billboards, they are just the new millenium's bumper sticker. The churches refusal to get down and dirty and live life with people. Their stretch to "save" as many people as they can before the rapture! The encouragement of "nominal Christianity."
This "let's get you saved and then worry about the rest" mentality has not worked. Because the church never does worry about the rest, or when they do, it all boils down to a simple moral code they have placed upon their members.
When Jesus came, he so passionately dialogued with the Pharisees for this very reason. The Pharisees loved God dearly, they really did, and they thought they were pleasing him by trying to cleanse Israel. And honestly, what did the prophets call for over and over again before the Pharisees came along? The Cleansing of Israel.
So these Pharisees said, "well God's laws need to be followed, and its so important that we are going to extend them even further, so that we never even come close to breaking them." They imposed a moral code on the people that was not of God. Jesus came along, so conveniently at this point in God's love story with his creation and told the Pharisees they had it all wrong. And the Good news he came to share was LOVE. Over and over his messages overflow with love. Where the Pharisees had imposed rules, Jesus said that Love would suffice.
Yes, don't kill your brother, but even more than that, don't even hate him.
That is wh I love the billboards that preach a God in love with his creation. If only the church was willing to be God in that way to the world, and love them personally, in community, rather than just "reach out" to them.
I am involved in a wonderful faith community that even struggles with this very thing.
How do we not "reach out" but rather "bring in."
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Playa del Carmen
As I leave today and allow my parents to spend entirely too much money for me to spend a week in the Mayan Riviera for my cousins wedding I am reminded of my own hypocrisy.
As it is I look forward to spending the traveling and the week reading as much as my brain can handle, hiking some Mayan ruins, spending time with family, and taking a faith journey while high on peyote (I'm still trying to decide on that last part).
Hopefully I will have plenty to talk about when I return. Also the library will be open and I can finally research Prayer and Baptism.
As it is I look forward to spending the traveling and the week reading as much as my brain can handle, hiking some Mayan ruins, spending time with family, and taking a faith journey while high on peyote (I'm still trying to decide on that last part).
Hopefully I will have plenty to talk about when I return. Also the library will be open and I can finally research Prayer and Baptism.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Home(less) for the Holydays
I know among the many terrible things Christmas can be, that it is often a wonderful (yet stressful) time with family and friends. I ask that in the coming week you would not forget our homeless friends. The holydays are a terrible time for the homeless. Many homeless people have no family, or have been disowned. Those who do still have family have most of the time at least lost contact with them.
While we enjoy time with family, or phone calls with family, we should remember our friends. It is cold out, and most shelters only allow visitors to stay for 7 days a month. Take some time to gather some of your abundance, some clothes that are going to waste, some of God's goodness that we hoard to ourselves. Take the time to gather it, and give it to those who don't have. Take some time away from your family (or with it) and go be the family of a homeless person. Don't use ignorance as your excuse, call any homeless ministry in your area and they will give you some advice.
If you are reading this blog, chances are you have been economically blessed amazingly by God (as I have). God doesn't give us wealth so we can enjoy it. (now don't get me wrong, there is nothing inherently wrong with money, or possesions) God gives to us, that we may be his hands and feet and bless others. Israel always viewed her role as God's redemptive hand on earth, and while she often fell (as we do) and while she often failed in her job (as we do) she did, in the end, produce the redeemer.
Too often the church sees Christ as only saviour, when we attempt to be his hands and feet we try only to save. When the church views Christ as redeemer, friend, lover, teacher, God and saviour she can become the manifestation of God on earth, being his hands and feet, serving those who God has given us to serve.
Think about ways you can be God's hands and feet to the world in the coming week. And then act on it.
While we enjoy time with family, or phone calls with family, we should remember our friends. It is cold out, and most shelters only allow visitors to stay for 7 days a month. Take some time to gather some of your abundance, some clothes that are going to waste, some of God's goodness that we hoard to ourselves. Take the time to gather it, and give it to those who don't have. Take some time away from your family (or with it) and go be the family of a homeless person. Don't use ignorance as your excuse, call any homeless ministry in your area and they will give you some advice.
If you are reading this blog, chances are you have been economically blessed amazingly by God (as I have). God doesn't give us wealth so we can enjoy it. (now don't get me wrong, there is nothing inherently wrong with money, or possesions) God gives to us, that we may be his hands and feet and bless others. Israel always viewed her role as God's redemptive hand on earth, and while she often fell (as we do) and while she often failed in her job (as we do) she did, in the end, produce the redeemer.
Too often the church sees Christ as only saviour, when we attempt to be his hands and feet we try only to save. When the church views Christ as redeemer, friend, lover, teacher, God and saviour she can become the manifestation of God on earth, being his hands and feet, serving those who God has given us to serve.
Think about ways you can be God's hands and feet to the world in the coming week. And then act on it.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
I don't hustle, I just turn tricks for money.
he said as he couldn't even bear to make eye contact with me.
If you want to see Jesus, if you want to meet him, in the flesh, go tomorrow night, go to a certain corner in Montrose, and look for the people with the little white name placards on. And meet Jesus.
My friends at Emmaus Ministries are God's hands and feet on earth. They are reaching out to redeem the parts of society that nobody else reaches out to. If you don't want your heart broken, I suggest you skip over this post.
Emmaus Ministries reaches out to male prostitutes in the Montrose area of Houston. These gentlemen (though often hard to tell which sex they are) are referred to as hustlers. Tonight I got to step into the realm of the hustler and just catch a glimpse into his world. I walked the streets tonight with my good friend Dan from Emmaus. We wandered from 1030 until 230, spending some time on busy street corners, and some time at a bar.
The scene is unreal. The first person we encountered was walking alone. Dan said hi and the gent was willing to talk a bit. Dan lovingly asked some questions to show him that he cared for him. The thing that struck me was that every answer was ended with the phrase, "I'm just depressed, I just get depressed." I felt more pain coming from this person than I have ever felt from another human being before.
We arrived at the corner of Stanford and Hyde Park and it is unlike anything I have ever scene before. Dan immediately sees multiple people that he knows.There are plenty of gentleman (dressed as either sex) standing around talking, or walking to and fro. There is also a strong police presence. An undercover car sits at one corner while multiple police patrol the area regularly.
The intersection is out of the way, yet sees more traffic than most at this time of night. I had seen plenty of cars drive by slowly looking around when one came to a complete stop just next to us, and an agitated and frenetic man entered the car. I had seen him walking around and something was definitely not working well in his head. His movements were jerky, almost palsied and he seemed nervous. As he entered the car I got a good look at the driver. He was in his early 30s driving a nice truck, looked fairly clean cut. As I glanced his direction he put his hand to his face and looked the other way.
The car couldn't have been gone more than 5 minutes when I saw the frenetic hustler again on the corner. I also noticed the same truck drive by twice more. I was amazed at how quickly a trick could be tuvrned here. But the sadness continued to grow. I started noticing this older (late 50's) little white man with a white goatee driving by over and over staring at the hustlers. He looked like a philosophy professor. I even saw him try to pick up a hustler directly in front of the undercover police officer.
Then I met Anthony.
He couldn't have been more than 30, and I suppose being on the street makes you look even older. He wanted to sell me his watch (it was a nice watch!) for 15 dollars, needed a place to stay for the night because he heard it was going to rain. He didn't want to turn a trick for the 12 dollars he needed for a bed at a shelter because as he said "I don't hustle, I just turn tricks for money when I have to." He told me his story, how is only relative was his mother, who is in the state pen in Alabama. He said he lost everything in Katrina (he was from new orleans). Without an ID or a relative to vouch for you, you cannot get a birth certificate, Social Card, or a job. He didn't want to be on the street, and surely didn't want to be turning tricks for food.
It just breaks your heart. I have much more to write, but am pooped. I'll do an edit friday.
If you want to see Jesus, if you want to meet him, in the flesh, go tomorrow night, go to a certain corner in Montrose, and look for the people with the little white name placards on. And meet Jesus.
My friends at Emmaus Ministries are God's hands and feet on earth. They are reaching out to redeem the parts of society that nobody else reaches out to. If you don't want your heart broken, I suggest you skip over this post.
Emmaus Ministries reaches out to male prostitutes in the Montrose area of Houston. These gentlemen (though often hard to tell which sex they are) are referred to as hustlers. Tonight I got to step into the realm of the hustler and just catch a glimpse into his world. I walked the streets tonight with my good friend Dan from Emmaus. We wandered from 1030 until 230, spending some time on busy street corners, and some time at a bar.
The scene is unreal. The first person we encountered was walking alone. Dan said hi and the gent was willing to talk a bit. Dan lovingly asked some questions to show him that he cared for him. The thing that struck me was that every answer was ended with the phrase, "I'm just depressed, I just get depressed." I felt more pain coming from this person than I have ever felt from another human being before.
We arrived at the corner of Stanford and Hyde Park and it is unlike anything I have ever scene before. Dan immediately sees multiple people that he knows.There are plenty of gentleman (dressed as either sex) standing around talking, or walking to and fro. There is also a strong police presence. An undercover car sits at one corner while multiple police patrol the area regularly.
The intersection is out of the way, yet sees more traffic than most at this time of night. I had seen plenty of cars drive by slowly looking around when one came to a complete stop just next to us, and an agitated and frenetic man entered the car. I had seen him walking around and something was definitely not working well in his head. His movements were jerky, almost palsied and he seemed nervous. As he entered the car I got a good look at the driver. He was in his early 30s driving a nice truck, looked fairly clean cut. As I glanced his direction he put his hand to his face and looked the other way.
The car couldn't have been gone more than 5 minutes when I saw the frenetic hustler again on the corner. I also noticed the same truck drive by twice more. I was amazed at how quickly a trick could be tuvrned here. But the sadness continued to grow. I started noticing this older (late 50's) little white man with a white goatee driving by over and over staring at the hustlers. He looked like a philosophy professor. I even saw him try to pick up a hustler directly in front of the undercover police officer.
Then I met Anthony.
He couldn't have been more than 30, and I suppose being on the street makes you look even older. He wanted to sell me his watch (it was a nice watch!) for 15 dollars, needed a place to stay for the night because he heard it was going to rain. He didn't want to turn a trick for the 12 dollars he needed for a bed at a shelter because as he said "I don't hustle, I just turn tricks for money when I have to." He told me his story, how is only relative was his mother, who is in the state pen in Alabama. He said he lost everything in Katrina (he was from new orleans). Without an ID or a relative to vouch for you, you cannot get a birth certificate, Social Card, or a job. He didn't want to be on the street, and surely didn't want to be turning tricks for food.
It just breaks your heart. I have much more to write, but am pooped. I'll do an edit friday.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
The Diary of Snod
I've probably posted this before.
I love my church. And by church, I mean gathering of local christ-followers.
For those of you in blogland who don't know me, after I graduated from college I went to work for some dear friends at a church I had been involved with in high school. I was brought on staff as a wide-eyed kid (like I'm much older now) to run the middle school ministries. I enjoyed my time at the church. I really did. Eventually however, my eyes truly began to open. To a number of things: the consumerism of the church, hyperspiritualization, denominationalism.
As I started to see how I had lost track of the world, my spirituality, and life in general, the weight of my disappointment and disgust of myself started to bring me down.
The last three months at the church were not pleasant, and looking back, I should have left earlier. What few positive effects I had been having on the kingdom began to disappear as I sunk lower into sheol.
Finally, through some dramatic and unfortunate experiences at the church I realized I had better just go.
All of this is just to explain where I am coming from.
I was really depressed with the state of the church, and even embarrassed to face God because I knew I had been a leading proponent of much of what was depressing.
It was time to change. I knew it was time to leave ministry for a while. And I promised myself I would never work for a church I wouldn't attend.
That made me think about what kind of church I wanted to attend.
I was searching for truth, I wanted a church that was doing that as well. I desparately needed people to love, and people to love me. I was starting to care for the world, it would be nice to find others who do.
Well, I started looking, and I got lucky on my first try. The church I am attending doesn't like to be called "a church." In fact, they call themselves a community of christians. They are also passionately seeking truth, sometimes that means breaking down old walls. They care deeply about the world around us, they have more passion than I in this area, and constantly drive me to see the world with different eyes. They also immediately loved me. And I had found my group of people love as well.
Here is my new "christian gathering's" mission statement (if you even want to call it that).
Holistic Missional Christian Community
Holistic: We believe that the Gospel impacts every area of a person's life and culture. We reject unfounded categories that divide the world into uniquely sacred or purely secular. God is redeeming all of creation through Jesus.
Missional: We believe that the church exists for the world and not for herself - she is to introduce and usher in the Kingdom of God into every part of this world.
Christian: We embrace the teachings and divinity of Jesus Christ as well as His unique role as the means of salvation from sin for all who believe. We embrace the Scripture as God's primary instrument by which He introduces this message to the world.
Community: We believe that salvation brings people together as a reflection of a triune God: Father, Son and Spirit. Saved from sin by faith through grace, the people of God are able to live in unity as was intended by God in the beginning.
Here is some more beliefs of the community that are beautiful.
Struggle
A worldview that does not see culture as sacred or secular, but redeemed or in need of redemption.
Community
We value other churches.
Justice
We are the voice for the helpless, understanding that God's Word says, "pyre religion is to care for the widow and the orphan."
Hope
The next generation of leaders are called out now.
History
The ancient story of God is retold and lived out.
Mission
Culture is met, transformed, and embraced.
Beauty
Beauty, art, and creativity, are valued, utilized, and understood as coming from our Creator.
I have found my place of healing and rest. And at the same time it stretches me and challenges me and pushes me to higher heights. It is a place I can feel comfort, but not complacency. Love but not apathy. Justice but not vengeance. Tradition but not religiousity.
I love my church. And by church, I mean gathering of local christ-followers.
For those of you in blogland who don't know me, after I graduated from college I went to work for some dear friends at a church I had been involved with in high school. I was brought on staff as a wide-eyed kid (like I'm much older now) to run the middle school ministries. I enjoyed my time at the church. I really did. Eventually however, my eyes truly began to open. To a number of things: the consumerism of the church, hyperspiritualization, denominationalism.
As I started to see how I had lost track of the world, my spirituality, and life in general, the weight of my disappointment and disgust of myself started to bring me down.
The last three months at the church were not pleasant, and looking back, I should have left earlier. What few positive effects I had been having on the kingdom began to disappear as I sunk lower into sheol.
Finally, through some dramatic and unfortunate experiences at the church I realized I had better just go.
All of this is just to explain where I am coming from.
I was really depressed with the state of the church, and even embarrassed to face God because I knew I had been a leading proponent of much of what was depressing.
It was time to change. I knew it was time to leave ministry for a while. And I promised myself I would never work for a church I wouldn't attend.
That made me think about what kind of church I wanted to attend.
I was searching for truth, I wanted a church that was doing that as well. I desparately needed people to love, and people to love me. I was starting to care for the world, it would be nice to find others who do.
Well, I started looking, and I got lucky on my first try. The church I am attending doesn't like to be called "a church." In fact, they call themselves a community of christians. They are also passionately seeking truth, sometimes that means breaking down old walls. They care deeply about the world around us, they have more passion than I in this area, and constantly drive me to see the world with different eyes. They also immediately loved me. And I had found my group of people love as well.
Here is my new "christian gathering's" mission statement (if you even want to call it that).
Holistic Missional Christian Community
Holistic: We believe that the Gospel impacts every area of a person's life and culture. We reject unfounded categories that divide the world into uniquely sacred or purely secular. God is redeeming all of creation through Jesus.
Missional: We believe that the church exists for the world and not for herself - she is to introduce and usher in the Kingdom of God into every part of this world.
Christian: We embrace the teachings and divinity of Jesus Christ as well as His unique role as the means of salvation from sin for all who believe. We embrace the Scripture as God's primary instrument by which He introduces this message to the world.
Community: We believe that salvation brings people together as a reflection of a triune God: Father, Son and Spirit. Saved from sin by faith through grace, the people of God are able to live in unity as was intended by God in the beginning.
Here is some more beliefs of the community that are beautiful.
Struggle
A worldview that does not see culture as sacred or secular, but redeemed or in need of redemption.
Community
We value other churches.
Justice
We are the voice for the helpless, understanding that God's Word says, "pyre religion is to care for the widow and the orphan."
Hope
The next generation of leaders are called out now.
History
The ancient story of God is retold and lived out.
Mission
Culture is met, transformed, and embraced.
Beauty
Beauty, art, and creativity, are valued, utilized, and understood as coming from our Creator.
I have found my place of healing and rest. And at the same time it stretches me and challenges me and pushes me to higher heights. It is a place I can feel comfort, but not complacency. Love but not apathy. Justice but not vengeance. Tradition but not religiousity.
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