My Brain

My brain has been moving about a million light years a second these days (light years a second...?) but for the past few days it has been at a standstill. Not like writers block where you beg your mind to be creative in any sense, but in the sense that I have not been mentally passionate about many topics. God is giving me some time to let all of the knowledge He is imparting on me settle in some.

As you have possibly (but probably not) read in my previous blogs I am leaning towards taking a vow of relative poverty and living out a missional existance in the community of Montrose (Houston) and starting a homeless ministry. I have had amazing feedback from a few people already involved and really feel like God is leading me this way. Recently a nearly perfect job opportunity has opened itself to me and I interview on Tuesday for the spot.

God has been giving me time to think these things out. He has given me time to say ok... I feel the same way a lot of people involved in the emergent discussion do, now what am I going to do with those feelings. This time he won't let me get away with thinking "that type of life isn't for everyone... just the missionaries..."

This time God is forcing my hand, He is openly and wildly moving in my life (not that he wasn't before, but somehow it is more clear now). He won't let me get away with some cheap suburban excuse (not that the suburbs are inherently bad, they just seem to promote an awful style of thought).

I had so much passion before that I might not have seen the obstacles and sacrifice that was in the way. Today I realized many of the things I will be living without. A good friend today reminded me that while what we do is very important to God, what is more important is the condition of our hearts that leads us to do His work. Living in relative poverty for the sake of the homeless is ok... but realizing the crazy affluence that I live in (even as a youth minister) and deciding that "things" have become far too important to me is even more exciting to God to see in my life.

In the end, whether or not my ministry "fails" is not important. Listening to God lead me there is. I praise God that he has put people in my life, and has given me wisdom to understand these things.

I will post tomorrow about class, right now I am still digesting it.

Peace and Love