The Coming Darkness

I feel it coming.

Just a simple conversation of events in the past sparked it. I feel it coming like a curtain, closing in on me from all sides.

Call it loneliness, isolation, depression, whatever it is it sucks, and I know there is a better way.

Today a gentleman wandered into our building before I arrived, it was pouring miserably outside. The kind of rain that makes you wonder how the homeless do it.

When I walked in, I was stopped by one of the staff, who let me know the guy was in the venue side of the building. They said a young lady was also in the room.

I casually wandered through, pretending to look at the new show in the gallery. The gent was asleep, the girl smiled.

She later came in to buy him a sandwich, and she ended up leaving her bible for him, while he was asleep.

I met the guy when he woke up, he didn't talk much (which is unusual).

He came in again later and asked to talk to me.

He cried, just plain old cried, in desperation.

It was the crying of a man who had tried to convince himself that he was ok, but had realized that he wasn't.

He told me his life story, how he had lost his wife and kids because of his addiction, how he was a wanted man because he owed some loan sharks some money.

I have not seen many people more broken in my life.

I had a great conversation today with a couple about the homeless we work with in out community, and about a particular member who is broken deeply. It sure started out depressing with us saying, what can we do but be lovingly honest? But it ended with some hope, the hope of God's continuing redemption. We in fact prayed for brokenness to open our eyes to our needs.

Then tonight over a beer (or three) and a burnt offering (thank you camacho) three of my closest friends and I talked, and 12 step programs were brought up. One of my friends said he wishes that he and his students (he is a minister) could really hit rock bottom so that they could embark on the journey. Then we all realized that we have all hit rock bottom, everyone has, but that some of us just don't know it yet. In fact, the problem of sin (which ain't so much of a problem any more [way to kick satan's ass, Jesus!]) has us all at rock bottom. We are in the pit of sheol.

My homeless friend was so broken that he was baring himself to me, cracks and splinters and shards and all...

He was so broken that he was ready to begin on his healing journey (I thought). But he didn't return, yet. All I can do is hope that he has found love somewhere else, that he can continue his journey of healing, and escape the bogus world system.

So how do we escape?

I guess we can wait until the a later post to solve the problems of the world.